Diary of a SAFFA Dog – Tuesday 20th August

OMW yesterday I was accused of writing drivel…….

As a labrador I am fairly used to humans assuming my level of intelligence is not as it should be.  Bella, very kindly fetched my tattered English Dictionary so that I could look up the meaning of the word.

I was somewhat relieved to see the definition included words like nonsense, dribble and drool.  I am of course very familiar with dribble and drool as I often embarrass myself at mealtimes with the eager anticipation of a tasty morsel being offered to tempt my somewhat oft deprived palate.

Nonsense, I wonder do I write nonsense.  The answer of course is, ‘Yes I do’, but it is the kind of nonsense that makes you smile and titter over your cornflakes.  It reminds you that we should have fun and laughter in our lives.  I could write about politics and war but that would give you all ulcers and haemerroids.

Anyhoo, moving forwards…..today was an excellent day overall…we had an exciting experience on our walk, details of which I will tell you just now.

Mother took the car for a service and returned with a midget machine on loan from the garage.  We all discussed the possibility of  a walk and came to the conclusion that it probably would not happen, as the vehicle appeared too small to accommodate us.  However, at 2pm we were unceremoniously loaded into the mini vehicle.  Mother said it just goes to show that you can get three large dogs into a small Toyota.  I advised her that we found it suitable as a one off but would not care to be squashed in this way in future.

It was a beautiful afternoon at the lake and we were  having an extremely peaceful walk when Barney suddenly bolted towards the water.  Mother got such a shock that she let go of the lead and Barney plunged into the water in hot pursuit of a small group of, I thought, relatively young ducks.  To our horror, he grabbed one by the neck and gave it a far too exhuberant shaking. Thinking he had done well he deposited said duck at my mother’s feet expecting great praise to be reigned down on his head.  The clip around the ear I think came as huge shock to him.  He told me later that it was the ‘retriever’ in him that had caused him to forget himself in this manner.

We now had the embarrassing situation of a ‘dead duck’ on our hands.  My mother’s first inclination was to throw it back from whence it came. I cautioned against this as the duck had a name tag and no doubt questions would be raised when he finally washed up again on the shoreline.  We decided on a private burial beside the lake.  We did not need to be encouraged to get back into the mini vehicle as we were all fleeing the scene of a crime!

We have been told we are all off to the parlour tomorrow as we are not up to the standard the newly cleaned house requires.

Oh well……more nonsense tomorrow…night mates!



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