Diary of a SAFFA Dog – Wednesday 21st August

Dribble, Drool and other Nonsense……..Mother told me that nonsense is synonymous with the absurd or the ridiculous and that many other literary geniuses have employed this technique over the years.  She encouraged me to continue with my writings so I agreed to do so.

Mother went off early to tennis, but to our suprise returned sooner than expected.  She had forgotten our appointment with our personal hair stylist.  We were rapidly bundled into the car as apparently we were in danger of a late arrival at the salon.

The rest of the day was mostly spent enclosed in a small cage whilst we awaited our turn on the clipping table.  Bella volunteered to go first as she is the only one of us who really enjoys the bathing and cutting procedure.  After an hour or so she was declared ‘finished’.  She looked quite the sophisticate with her hair brushed and her nails and toes clipped and buffed.  She was also sporting a large peach bow in her head.  I mentioned to the grooming lady that my mother does not do peach bows and that it should probably be removed before her arrival.  As usual my advice was ignored so no doubt there will be fireworks on our collection.

I waited most of the day for my turn to come.  I felt their customer service to be a little lacking as I was not offered any refreshment during my long wait.  People came and went all day, most of them stopping  to ‘ooh and aah’ at Bella, who was managing to look quite pretty stuffed as she was into her small cage.  Either they need bigger cages or we will all have to up the level of our slimming campaign.

Mother eventually pitched to collect us all at 4pm.  She said we looked like a crowd of skinned rats.  She was quite scathing about the peach bow.  I had no sympathy for our stylist as she had not heeded my warning about this.

The hair cuts have revealed that some of our number are indeed a little on the tubby side and we are now going to follow a somewhat stricter diet in order to reduce our waistlines for summer.

Barney, who can always be relied upon to put his foot in the proverbial, innocently asked Mother if she too would be taking part in the diet.  He followed it up by saying he had observed that she, herself, had been looking less lean of late.  He received a swift clip around the ear for his cheekiness and disappeared upstairs to sulk on the new bedding.

I believe we are having guests for supper tomorrow night, so no doubt there will be a mini cleaning frenzy in the morning.  I pointed out that now we have all been shorn like sheep there will be less of a need to employ the vacuum cleaner. Mother, who I could see was caught up in a mental tug of war about whether or not to go to gym this evening, nodded vaguely, but I received no praise for my astute observation.

Aah well, supper beckons, I expect it is Kibble again!


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