Diary of a SAFFA Dog – Home at Last

Home at last!  We thanked Uncle Nathan most politely for looking after us so well and said we would look forward to sharing Christmas Day with him.  I will have to remember to buy him a small gift to put under the tree.  Mother will no doubt be sending Christmas stockings with us so that we do not feel neglected on the big day!

Barney asked would we ever spend Christmas at home again.  He does have a point I must admit. Since we have become global scatterlings I too have pondered on this matter.  We are to host a seasonal party early in December and the house will be quite gaily decorated I believe.  We shall be home for the New Year festivities so that is a substantial improvement on last year when we were abandoned for more than six weeks.

With the festive season just a few short weeks away, we have been plunged into the latest fitness and dieting craze.  None of us are safe or to be exempt from the new activities it would appear.

We were dragged from our warm bed before dawn this morning and hustled down to the lake before the sun was even up.  We are now ‘running’ in the early morning, walking is to be a thing of the past.

Barney expressed some enjoyment with this change of regime, but he still has the exhuberance of youth, coupled with an inability to see where all of this is going to end.  I told him that if this continues then we will lose the social side of our outings.  It is difficult to hold a conversation at speed.  There will also be an absence of ‘loo stops’.

Bella, who as we all know does not like to work up a sweat under any circumstance, says that after 22 babies you can’t worry about your waistline. She doesn’t see why we are always involved in Mother’s asinine schemes.

As it turns out Bella and I performed quite poorly on the run and have been moved to the early evening slot which apparently will be at a somewhat slower pace.  Barney, somewhat gleefully, says it has worked out well for him as he will now have two outings instead of one.  I think he will soon tire of the morning run as apparently he is also being trained to run alongside a bicycle.

He has yet to see the pitfalls that will be associated with ‘bicycle running’.  I told him that any poor behaviour happening when attached to said bicycle will result in Mother toppling from the machine.  This will be seen to be his fault and will be held against him forever.  It will be brought up and discussed at every opportunity, never to be forgotten.

Dieting has begun in earnest with Mother abandoning proper food for something she calls ‘diet shakes’.  These appear to be most unpalatable judging by the adverse comments I am hearing from her.  There is also be be an ‘alcohol free’ month to aid the slimming process.  All in all it is not boding well for an enjoyable November.

Oh well off to soak up a few rays before luncheon….bye for now!




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