I have been beyond remiss in my communications of late. I have sunk into the abyss of slobbery and have no excuses for my behaviour.
Mother paid a visit to a psychic, who commented that we all appeared to be somewhat ‘directionless’ and compared us to a boat drifting aimlessly on the ocean of life.
We have subsequently become engulfed in a whirlwind of activity, outings are being planned, chores are being completed and our leisurely mornings are to become a thing of the past. There will be no more lounging in our warm beds until the sun has become warm enough to venture outside.
I feel that as a group we have come out of this frenzy quite well. We have been taken on some very long walks and are now going to the park on a most regular basis. The Doodle cousins have expressed great pleasure in this and we have resumed our warm and cordial relationship with them.
Generally we have been in and out of trouble over the last few weeks. I personally have been to great lengths to avoid strife and I would like to think that my reputation has survived the period relatively untarnished.
The only blemish to my reputation had been in attaching myself to the wrong group whilst in the park and causing Mother considerable time and trouble looking for me. As always my blindness was not considered a sufficient excuse for my misdeed and I was scolded most severely.
Barney, on the other hand, has moved from one drama to the next. I have told him he needs to drastically improve his manners and that our reputation as a well mannered group is at stake. He is always worse when he is out with his two sidekicks, Sid and Molly.
Molly has been in the poo a lot recently as she has taken to jumping her garden wall and taking herself off for a walk around the lake. I have warned her about the risks involved in such a hazardous activity, the very least of which is navigating an exceptionally busy road. I have told her she will end up as sausage meat if she is not careful! Like Barney, she is young and stupid and no doubt will not heed my advice.
Mother is going through an Italian phase, prompted by her recent, very successful holiday in that fair country. She is experimenting with many new recipes and some tasty morsels have found their way into our furry tummies.
I am beginning to think that European dogs are treated to a much more interesting and varied diet that we are normally used to in our establishment. We are now great fans of garlic.
Mother, who as you know fancies herself as something of a ‘wit’ asked me if we were worried about Vampires. I told her in no uncertain terms that we might be furry but we were not stupid. She snorted with laughter at this, asking why we were wearing the garlic attached to our collars instead of consuming it!
I know when I am beaten, so I slunk off to bed to link my wounds and prepare for another day.