Diary of a SAFFA Dog – The Return

I have been most remiss in recent months concerning my Diary entries. My fan club has no doubt shrunk to a miniscule number and I fear that my fame has quite vanished.

Some of my most ardent fans have begged me to get off my furry butt and once again put quill to parchment. It appears that they have missed my apparently droll descriptions of everyday life on the Goldie, not to mention the antics of the Family.

Since my last diary entry my eyesight has failed miserably and if I am honest this contributed largely to my failing to recount our daily adventures for your enjoyment. In the end, to avoid listening to yet another pep talk from ‘she who knows it all’, in other words, my sister Bella, I have pulled myself together and started dictating my thoughts to my scribe, Barney.

Barney has not taken on this task very willingly, but as Mother says, he does need to practice his writing skills. Any errors in the text will of course be attributed to his lack of concentration. I have warned him most severely to refrain from adding any tidbits of his own to the text!

My disability has caused me to have to deal with the odd vexatious situation; I am however, learning to deal well with my lot and am pleased to report that life is generally excellent.

Mother, who as you know is quite overcome with guilt at my sightless state, will not allow a cross word to be uttered in my direction. I often snigger quietly to myself when I hear the words “You can’t punish a blind dog” uttered by her.

You will see that I have quickly realised her attitude can only be a good things for me and I have accordingly managed to extricate myself from quite a number of potentially embarrassing situations by playing on this weakness.

The Woman has been off on seemingly endless trips these past months, so many, that we have become quite a part of the furniture at the Holiday Home. Bella, as always, complains that keeping the “newbies” in order is a very onerous task. Secretly I am convinced she enjoys throwing her weight around.

I have made Mother promise to reinstate her “postcards” to us whenever she is away. She has become totally lax in this area and I have informed her this sort of slackness in communications cannot continue.

We have become a much larger household in recent months since my brother and his tribe arrived to live with us. This was a big shock to my system, as at first they appeared completely unaware of my status within the household.

To my absolute horror I was demoted from my cozy place on the sofa to the somewhat harsher environment of the shag pile rug. As you know, this was not a situation that could be tolerated; they simply had to be advised of the error of their ways

I wrote a pleasant, but firm, note to the Family, indicating my displeasure. I mentioned my belief it was just a misunderstanding and hoped the situation could be remedied without reference to Mother.

The Family clearly understood my concerns and now a large space is reserved on the couch for me from 5pm onwards. I informed them that once I retire for the night they are quite at liberty to lounge on the furniture as they wish

Barney has become quite enamoured with the new family and spends much of his time cozying up to them. They all think he is super clever, little do they know what he is really like under all that black fur!

I have told him they still wont buy him a Rottweiler suit and once cousin Max arrives he will be totally demoted in their affections. As always, he refuses to listen to my advice and continues to suck up at every opportunity.

Bella does not approve at all of Barney’s behavior, largely because she sees herself as the star of the household. Her jealousy knows no bounds and she is always whining that no one takes any notice of her any more.

Personally, I think she is still annoyed at being caught in possession of an illegal pizza and the punishment that followed. I have also told her the balance of power is shifting and she needs to be careful!

 

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